Motherhood is often described as a balancing act between caregiving, career, and self-care. For Mdm Goh, it has been above all, an enduring expression of love – shown in the countless choices she makes each day to comfort, advocate for, and stand by her two children. This Mother’s Day, Mdm Goh shares her motherhood journey of raising them on her own after her husband passed away, and the quiet strength that comes from loving without conditions.
The early years: Seeing and believing in her child
Mdm Goh is a mother of two children. Her eldest son, Elden, now 23, was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at the age of three, and autism at the age of four.
“As a first-time mother, I did not notice anything unusual about him. As a young child, he loved learning and was very quick to grasp anything I taught him. In my eyes, he was an exceptionally bright child,” Mdm Goh recalled. “It was only when his kindergarten teacher informed us that he kept to himself in class and preferred to be alone that we began to look more closely into his development.”
Six months after his autism diagnosis, Elden’s father passed away, and Mdm Goh became his main caregiver. Anchored by love and a deep sense of responsibility, she gave up her career as an accountant to become an assistant teacher in a childcare centre so that she could spend more time with Elden and stay closely involved in his daily routine.
It has not been easy trying to understand Elden’s needs, but Mdm Goh has always been determined to meet him where he is. She attended workshops to better understand autism, learn effective ways to support his learning, and guide him towards greater independence – small steady steps rooted in a mother’s hope for her child.
Perseverance through change
However, things got challenging when Elden entered puberty.
“He began to struggle with sleeping, and would at some nights, not sleep at all. He would scream so loudly that it was piercing to my ears. This lasted for nine years,” Mdm Goh said. Night after night, she stayed close, worried that he might fall off the bed if left alone, choosing vigilance over rest so that he would not have to face those moments by himself.
Even with Elden attending a day care centre on weekdays, there was little respite. Then, one day, his condition changed. “Since Chinese New Year in 2025, Elden has been unable to stand or walk, and now needs a wheelchair to ambulate,” she said.
“Exhaustion would set in from the start of the day,” Mdm Goh added. “As Elden is unable to carry out his daily routine independently, I have to assist him physically throughout the day, from helping him into and out of his wheelchair, to supporting his bathroom needs and more. This continues until about 9pm, when both of us finally get to rest.”
Recognising that love also means planning for her child’s care when she cannot be there in every moment, Mdm Goh decided to seek support. In 2025, during a chat with Elden’s social worker at his Day Activity Centre, she asked if there were any services available to support her and Elden, especially for times when she might be unwell. She was introduced to SPD’s Take-A-Break Programme, which provides short-term respite support to help ensure Elden continues to be cared for safely and well.
When Elden has hospital appointments, a care professional helps Mdm Goh with transferring Elden in and out of his wheelchair, and during appointments. With that practical help in place, she is better able to look after her own health – meeting friends, doing exercise, and going for acupuncture to relieve the long-term strain from physically supporting Elden, so that she could continue showing up for him.
“I am now able to manage my time better and take short breaks, knowing that Elden is being well-cared for. This has made my relationship with him feel more relaxed and comfortable, as previously I was often exhausted and unable to support him fully,” Mdm Goh said.
For her, the definition of strength has evolved. “Now, being strong means being resilient, patient and able to protect and nurture my children with love,” she said.
Finding strength in community
Once unsure about using respite care services, Mdm Goh wants to remind fellow caregivers that they do not have to walk this journey alone. By leaning on community support, caregivers can find the space to recharge.
“My hope for Elden is that he will become independent and is able to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life,” she shared. “I hope his condition will improve to how it was before puberty – when he was able to live life, even play his favourite sports such as football and basketball.”
This Mother’s Day, let us celebrate the many forms a mother’s love can take – advocating, learning, persevering and, when needed, reaching out so her child is always supported. Behind every caregiving is a bond that endures and a hope that continues to shine forward.