This Father’s Day, we are privileged to share a deeply moving letter from Mr Michael Sim, a dedicated father navigating the joys and complexities of raising his son, Aaron, who has Asperger syndrome and muscular dystrophy. From coming to terms with Aaron’s diagnosis to becoming his child’s greatest advocate, Mr Sim’s journey is a story of unwavering commitment, belief, and unconditional love.
My name is Michael Sim, and I have been working in the finance industry for more than 30 years. My wife, Judy, and I got married in 1996. After six years, we were blessed with our first child, Ashley, through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF). Two years later, in 2004, Aaron was born.
After Aaron was born, my wife became a full-time homemaker so that she could focus on caring for the family. We are a happy family of four. When the children were younger, life was much like that of many other middle-income families in Singapore. We were working, travelling when we could, and looking for suitable pre-school programmes for the children.
Aaron was an adorable child, loved by everyone, often, smiling or laughing. He was calm and composed beyond his age. He was also more cautious and less adventurous than many children, but in many ways, he grew up like every other kid on the block.
Photo credits to Mr Sim
Aaron’s diagnosis: from fear to stability
Aaron was later diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, which is now commonly understood as part of the autism spectrum. At the age of 10, he was also diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. Learning about this degenerative and irreversible condition left us feeling helpless and devastated. As parents, we felt as though we had somehow shortchanged him. One of our greatest fears was not knowing how quickly his condition would worsen, and whether we might lose him prematurely.
Photo credits to Mr Sim
Over time, I realised I could not let my fear become the centre of Aaron’s life. What mattered more was helping him live meaningfully and confidently. This journey was not about my sadness or worries. It was about Aaron. If we, as parents, allowed ourselves to be overwhelmed by negative emotions, it would not help him. What he needed from us was stability, belief, and guidance.
Prioritising potential over limitations
One of the greatest challenges for me was helping Aaron see beyond his physical condition. I did not want him to grow up believing that his wheelchair or his condition defined who he was. At the same time, I wanted him to understand that needing support did not mean lowering his expectations of himself. He still had strengths, responsibilities, and the ability to contribute meaningfully in his own way.
Photo credits to Mr Sim
From an early age, Aaron showed an interest in logic, numbers, and mathematics. I made deliberate efforts to nurture that interest. I wanted him to focus on his strengths, rather than only on the things his condition made difficult. To me, this was especially important. If he could learn to recognise what he was good at, work hard, and take pride in it, he would have a stronger foundation to face the challenges ahead.
Learning to let go and let growth
Because of his Asperger syndrome and physical condition, Aaron found it hard to open up or interact with others. Not everyone understood his needs or behaviour. There were painful moments when he felt defeated or rejected by his peers, and I remember times when he cried because of those setbacks. As a father, watching your child suffer in that way is truly heartbreaking.
But I also learnt that I could not protect him from every difficulty. What I could do was prepare him, guide him, and remind him that while kindness from others is something to be grateful for, the world may not always understand him immediately. I wanted him to build the resilience to face those moments, while still being kind and hopeful. Along the way, I am incredibly grateful that Aaron has also met many kind people who supported and encouraged him.
My relationship with Aaron is amicable and respectful. He is not particularly expressive and has always found it difficult to open up to people, including us as parents. Because of that, I made deliberate efforts to take part in the things he enjoys, such as online gaming, manga, anime, and his other personal interests. I try to listen to him and understand his feelings so that he does not feel isolated. Even now, we still share silly jokes and pranks like father and son.
At the same time, I am also firm with him, especially when it comes to his behaviour, work, duties, and responsibilities. I believe this is vital for his character-building. Loving him does not mean lowering every expectation. In fact, because I love him, I want him to grow into someone responsible, resilient, and principled.
There have definitely been more demands in Aaron’s upbringing, both physically and mentally. But I do not see them as sacrifices. I see them more as quality time that we have spent together as father and son. One example that had stayed with me was when Aaron was struggling with his GCE A-Level Economics. I took a month off work to study with him. It was not easy, especially because Aaron does not respond well to pressure. But we also had some great moments together, and it was especially fulfilling when he eventually went on to ace his Economics paper at the GE A-Level examinations.
There were certainly many times when I had to put aside my own fears and exhaustion to stay strong for him. As a parent, I worry about his health, his future, his independence, and whether the world will be understanding towards him. But on the hardest days, what kept me going was the belief that Aaron’s life has purpose and potential. I wanted him to grow up not merely surviving, but living with confidence, cheerfulness, and passion.
A father’s greatest pride
Aaron has grown into a kind and empathetic young man. Aaron isn’t the most expressive person, but he shows his care through small actions and quiet thoughtfulness. I am proud of his perseverance, his strong belief in himself, and the way he continues to focus on what he can do rather than what he cannot.
Being Aaron’s father has shaped me deeply. I learned patience, humility, and the importance of looking beyond outward limitations. It has also taught me that fatherhood is not just about providing or protecting. It is about preparing your child for life – helping him build character, recognise his own worth, and find his place in the world.
Aaron has taught me that every child needs someone who believes in them, not just through words, but through consistent action, time, discipline, and love. My hope has always been for Aaron to live with dignity, purpose, and confidence. And most importantly, to live a life that he himself can be proud of.
The greatest joy is seeing him grow into someone kind, cheerful, and passionate about life despite the challenges he has faced. He has shown me that strength is not only physical. Strength can also be found in resilience, attitude, kindness, discipline, and the courage to keep moving forward. That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts of fatherhood.
Today, Aaron’s journey has reached an inspiring milestone. As a recipient of the Asia Pacific Breweries Foundation Scholarship for Persons with Disabilities, Aaron proves that when a child’s potential is nurtured with opportunity and belief, there is no limit to what they can achieve. His accomplishment reflects not only academic excellence, but also resilience, and strength of character.